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tbradsim1

Lifer
Jan 14, 2012
9,126
11,262
Southwest Louisiana
I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so

I sat down and had a cold beer.

The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.

My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing,

and I said, "Nothing."

The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then would have asked, "About what?"

At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions.

Finally I pondered an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?

Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they know?

Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question.

Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is the reason for my conclusion:

A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."

But you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."

I rest my case.
 

HawkeyeLinus

Lifer
Oct 16, 2020
5,612
41,216
Iowa
Clearly your wife is a treasure and obviously has a great sense of humor, lol.

I would never tell my wife or my grown daughters men are deeper thinkers! If I lost my mind and considered it, I wouldn't use your example as support, haha. :) ✌️
 

mso489

Lifer
Feb 21, 2013
41,210
60,478
I've never figured out how the second child ever gets born, which is of concern since I am a second child. I was a pretty quick delivery and a few weeks early, so I was glad to hear that. I'm not sure I'd count as a preemie today, but I definitely was at the time of my birth, and was an incubator baby for a few days. The doc said I was "perfect," which in this context means my gonads had descended, which isn't always true of boy preemies.

Since I have had two kidney stone episodes with extreme pain, I've heard that women who have kidney stones say it is comparable to giving birth. Actually passing a stone, so you can see it, even collect it, is uncomfortable and a little bloody in one case. But the painful episodes, in my case, were when the stone moved higher in the tract. It feels like you've been stabbed. In both cases, I ended up in the ER.

Tea is out for kidney stone people. I love tea, but not any more. Lemon water and lemonade are good, so it is said. I'm going to visit a prevention doctor to get schooled on diet and such, but it takes months to get an appointment. I'll take a retrieved stone for possible analysis. They can be made of different minerals, and that indicates which foods and beverages might be avoided, or so I've heard. My primary care doc measured the stone and was impressed.

My wife's dentist, one of them, has eight children. Well he can afford it. What is his wife thinking? She knows when to breathe and when to push.
 
Last edited:

lraisch

Part of the Furniture Now
Jul 4, 2011
648
1,273
Granite Falls, Washington state
I've never figured out how the second child ever gets born, which is of concern since I am a second child. I was a pretty quick delivery and a few weeks early, so I was glad to hear that. I'm not sure I'd count as a preemie today, but I definitely was at the time of my birth, and was an incubator baby for a few days. The doc said I was "perfect," which in this context means my gonads had descended, which isn't always true of boy preemies.

Since I have had two kidney stone episodes with extreme pain, I've heard that women who have kidney stones say it is comparable to giving birth. Actually passing a stone, so you can see it, even collect it, is uncomfortable and a little bloody in one case. But the painful episodes, in my case, were when the stone moved higher in the tract. It feels like you've been stabbed. In both cases, I ended up in the ER.

Tea is out for kidney stone people. I love tea, but not any more. Lemon water and lemonade are good, so it is said. I'm going to visit a prevention doctor to get schooled on diet and such, but it takes months to get an appointment. I'll take a retrieved stone for possible analysis. They can be made of different minerals, and that indicates which foods and beverages might be avoided, or so I've heard. My primary care doc measured the stone and was impressed.
When I had a stone the nurse who admitted me said she had delivered a baby and had a kidney stone. She said she would take childbirth any day because at least you got something for your pain.
 

pappymac

Lifer
Feb 26, 2015
3,372
4,519
I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so

I sat down and had a cold beer.

The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.

My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing,

and I said, "Nothing."

The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then would have asked, "About what?"
You're lucky she didn't give you a list of 10 things she wanted you to do.
 

bobpnm

Lifer
Jul 24, 2012
1,543
10,400
Panama City, Florida
I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so

I sat down and had a cold beer.

The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.

My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing,

and I said, "Nothing."

The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then would have asked, "About what?"

At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions.

Finally I pondered an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?

Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they know?

Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question.

Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is the reason for my conclusion:

A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."

But you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."

I rest my case.
Unassailable logic. Calls for another ice cold Jolie Blonde.
 

anotherbob

Lifer
Mar 30, 2019
15,971
29,935
46
In the semi-rural NorthEastern USA
I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so

I sat down and had a cold beer.

The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.

My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing,

and I said, "Nothing."

The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then would have asked, "About what?"

At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions.

Finally I pondered an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?

Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they know?

Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question.

Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is the reason for my conclusion:

A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."

But you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."

I rest my case.
I don't know there are guys out there that will let people do that for a few bucks. Also don't think woman would want to get pregnant again if they didn't get a child out of it. Still funny but not accurate.