Why?

[warren]

Not trying to start a quickly closed thread. Nor should specific members feel the need to defend themselves.

I'm trying to figure out why rude and impertinent questions are asked about other peoples' personal habits. Why is it important to know when others started smoking. Or, how long they have smoked? And so forth. I fully understand the interest in what others smoke. Also, favorite blends and such. But, why do some people have such curiosity about other peoples' habits with regard to simply smoking.

understand asking others how they handle the weather if they enjoy, or are relegated to smoking out of doors. Or, what they find so charming about a cob? I even accept the old "Show us your ???" Even though their Petersons, Dunhills or, other brands look just like the other members pipes of the same brand/catalog number. That's just seeking validation or, perhaps envy. Even though palates vary individually I can accept a bewildered noob asking what others smoke or, what tobacco won't "burn" the tongue. Asking how others load or, clench? Reasonable questions all.

No, the correct response to my question would be: If you are uncomfortable answering ... don't. Very true. But, sometimes common decency wins out over my reticence and I feel the need the answer simply to be polite. I readily admit that I sometimes do not play well with others. My wife often made that observation. I should simply ignore rude or insolent questions. That would be the proper reaction I admit. But ... well ... curiosity has gotten the best of me.

And, before someone points this out, I repeat I am not asking a specific member to defend themselves/ I simply wonder at the why of such intrusive questioning by total strangers or, at best, acquaintances. I'm discounting those of you who, in fact have met and are friends in the true sense of the word.

Well considered responses only please. I ask that fully realizing such will not be generally forthcoming.

Addendum: Mostly, not all, written tongue in cheek.

Addendum: To simplify the above, does curiosity trump good manners?

 

[AroEnglish]

I think members don’t view these questions as nor have any intention to be rude or impertinent when they start these threads. I think they just want to chat about smoking and would/do welcome these questions themselves as the OP often starts by answering the questions they’re asking.

I also think that many on this forum view smoking as a virtue/good rather than a vice and so want to learn more about information about that good whether it’s ancillary or tangential.

 

[Briar Lee]

The members of this forum are nearly all men. There goes half the population.

Not only men, but men who smoke pipes. That’s about one per cent of adult men. A very small group.

And not only are we pipe smoking men we are interested enough to join an Internet forum about pipe smoking.

Wow.

We are down to chosen and scarce few, by now.

Most of us just show off our pipes, it seems.

Who the bell else would be interested?

 

[DesertDan]

Forums in general, tend to develop a degree of "navel-gazing" as time goes on. I think this combined with the club -like familiarity amongst the members leads to more casual/personal questions and statements.

 

[warren]

Familiarity? Interesting.

I think they just want to chat about smoking and would/do welcome these questions themselves as the OP often starts by answering the questions they’re asking.

Fascinating observation. Interesting take. So,just wanting to talk, so to speak? Interact with someone they have some sort of affinity for/with?

 

[sardonicus87]

Familiarity? Interesting.

Fascinating observation. Interesting take. So,just wanting to talk, so to speak? Interact with someone they have some sort of affinity for/with?

This would be my guess. It's like "small talk" in a way. I don't care for small talk myself, and I don't think the people asking even care that much, they just don't have another way to start a conversation.

I'm keen on quiet, most people aren't.

“All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”
– Blaise Pascal

 

[LeafErikson]

I don’t think many others would agree with you that the questions are rude. We’re on the internet, on a semi-anonymous forum. More than anything, I’m surprised at how friendly the majority of the conversations tend to be on this forum. I’m not sure how much experience you’ve had with social media, but people tend to be INCREDIBLY toxic much more frequently.

I’ve had conversations with you, and others on here, where we’ve disagreed on this or that, but I would never personally denigrate anyone on this forum, and I always assume the same is reciprocated. The same can’t be said for a large percentage of interactions on the internet behind the comfort of anonymity.

 

[Sigmund]

Its a forum. People ask and answer because its there. If there are no posts its not a forum. Really…that is a big part of it. Why climb the mountain? The chicken crossing the road etc…

 

[TheIronMonkey]

I agree with the above posts that contend that the questions about when someone started smoking (or for how long) are not intended to be rude or impertinent—I suspect a good many members don’t perceive the questions that way either. I see these questions as online “conversational” icebreakers, something akin to the ubiquitous and unimaginative “So, what do you do for a living?” one often hears at parties or social gatherings. These questions might come from a genuine curiosity, especially in a specialized forum with the niche interest of pipes. Pipe smoking is not as culturally pervasive as it once was in the middle of the 20th Century. It’s something of a rarity now by comparison. New pipe smokers today are excited and thrilled to find what they perceive as brethren or kindred spirits. Their enthusiasm leads to wanting to know how others also arrived at the same interest; the questions seem natural in that context.

 

[jpberg]

Back in the sixties, men started talking about their feelings.
Things have devolved since.

 

[Christos D. Tsatsaronis]

In a "community" of people with the same "hobby", like a pipe forum, I don't find questions like these rude or against good manners. That is how I feel.

 

[anotherbob]

I assume I'll get asked these questions being on a forum about the subject. I get asked worse questions at work especially my last job. To be tactful no one here has asked any openly how old they where when they lost their big V or the details, so still better then working in an office.

 

[Bassman65]

I don’t think many are trying to be rude etc. maybe just looking for camaraderie. Like noted above, not too many pipe smokers around. I can’t talk about pipes and pipe smoking with my wife or kids, they just don’t care lol. Also, being fairly new to pipe smoking in comparison to many, advice is much appreciated.

With 50g of tobacco going for 50-80 dollars up here, other people’s tobacco knowledge and advice is really helpful. Kinda like doing your homework or due diligence.

Like in all conversations, however, some I choose to take part in and others I don’t.

 

[HawkeyeLinus]

Sometimes it’s genuine internet in the answer, sometimes it’s starting a thread just to start a thread. Frankly, anyone wanting to invest some real time in participating wouldn’t need too long to ferret out most folks’ preferences and history with their pipes - I look at it as a money earned kind of thing. Just a matter of what personal info is crossing the line for anyone as far as answering but I get how it can come off as a little intrusive and generally not into providing a “bio”. Having said that’s, mine and most members’ intros provide some context about when and how started.

 

[captpat]

I don’t characterize those types of questions as rude or ill mannered. Some of them I answer, some I don’t, no rhyme or reason to my approach to a given question.

What is rude (IMO) are folks who pose questions or topics that could be easily answered by using the search function. It wasn’t that long ago that in the space of a week the question of favorite VA tobaccos was asked in three different threads — now wasting my time because one is lazy is rude.

 

[telescopes]

I sometimes do find some of the questions a bit personal, such as ones that ask about one‘s age or livelihood, but given I am not required to answer, I move on. It is the nature of a forum after all. The Secret Santa thing, I find it too personal, but many seem to enjoy it, so there you go. For the most part, this is a well moderated forum, and posters by and large behave themselves - for the most part. I find the occasional cock who likes to crow a bit too much about themselves to be more of distraction than some of the questions, if I am to be hones.

 

[tracerbullet]

I don’t see these types of questions to be intrusive. actually these types of questions are more frequently read by me.
I am fairly new to the hobby so I am always looking for more knowledge. Threads that ask questions about longevity in the hobby give me some insight into just how knowledgeable someone is about the different aspects of pipe smoking.
I filter that information when I read posts throughout the site. Whether perceived or real the more knowledgeable someone appears to be on a particular subject the influence or validity of that response carries more weight.

 

[Grangerous]

Best Forum anywhere. No offense taken to any question I’d seen, read or answered. Most are here for camaraderie, to learn, to teach, to socialize.

More importantly to some, this forum provides comfort to those whom find themselves alone due to illness, age or being home bound. They’re not alone here among friends.

 

[dog_park_piper]

They seek a sense of community.

 

[hoosierpipeguy]

I cannot fathom why anyone would give these kind of questions a second thought. If they bother you in the least, don't open the thread. The questions aren't even that personal in nature.